Handlettering can be hard enough without the frustration of not knowing what to write. If you're tired of seeing the same inspirational sayings over and over again and need some fun and sassy sayings, these snarky quotes will inspire your next lettering design for sure!
This post may contain affiliate links. Click here to read the full affiliate disclosure.
100 Sassy & Snarky Quotes and one-liners to Inspire Your Handlettering
I know your pain of finally having some time to letter, sitting down to get comfy with your iPad or paper, and not knowing what to letter. I've been there too.
I've spent hours looking up quotes online. They usually come in the form of sayings and one-liners that give me a giggle because I can relate to them. You know deep down that the quotes that REALLY resonate with you are the ones that realistic. The ones that say what you're really thinking. The ones that are funny because they're true.
I've spent hours on Pinterest and Google, finding these quotes so when I finally get some time to letter, I have a plethora of choices that also lighten my mood and make me LOL.
If you letter any of these, I'd love to see your designs! Feel free to tag me on social media @cristinaprilfrey if you post them so I can cheer you on.
1. I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
2. I'll see your hot mess and raise you a walking disaster.
3. 'Awesome' ends in 'me'. Coincidence? Nope!
4. Home is where the bra isn't.
5. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
6. Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
7. I'm not one to brag, but I made it out of bed.
8. Nothing haunts us like the tacos we didn't eat.
9. I put the pro in procrastinate.
10. It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.
11. I came. I saw. I got anxiety and I left.
12. I understand the concept of cooking, just not how it applies to me.
13. Do not read the next sentence. You're such a rebel. I like you.
14. My book club only reads wine labels.
15. I only have patience when there are too many witnesses.
16. Another fine day ruined by responsibility.
17. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
18. If it involves fake smiling, I'm not going.
19. Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it's only Wednesday.
20. Gym update: Not there.
21. I'm nicer when I like my outfit.
22. Which wine goes best with laundry?
23. My diet of eating whatever I want and not exercising doesn't seem to be working.
24. Please do not pet the peeves.
25. What doesn't kill me makes my drink stronger.
26. I wish more people were fluent in silence.
27. If one door opens and another one closes, your house is probably haunted.
28. My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
29. I should get an award for wearing a bra today.
30. Some days I'm the queen of calm. Other days, separating coffee filters pushes me over the edge.
31. When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.
32. I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.
33. I used to drink but that was hours ago.
34. "It's been a long week." Me, in the middle of Tuesday.
35. There's no "we" in fries.
36. My dream job is not needing one.
37. That's enough todaying for today. I'm done.
38. I think my guardian angel drinks.
39. The chains on my mood swing just snapped.
40. Forgot to go to the gym today. That's three years in a row now.
41. I could really go for a glass of wine and two million dollars.
42. Does planting myself on the couch count as getting some gardening done?
43. The older you get, the more dangerous it is to sneeze.
44. I know I said "hi" but I wasn't prepared for a follow-up conversation.
45. If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream.
46. Just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its power for good or evil today.
47. Boobytrap spelled backwards is partyboob. Carry on.
48. The only marathons I run are on my couch with Netflix.
49. If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where I can return Mondays.
50. Life is too short for bad coffee.
51. I'm fairly certain the person who put the first r in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.
52. I'm going to stand outside so if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.
53. I enjoy long romantic walks down the wine aisle.
54. As for me and my house, we will serve tacos. (Salsa 24:7)
55. My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
56. My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
57. I want you to know that someone cares. Not me, but someone.
58. I'm ride or die. Until 9pm or so.
59. Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it.
60. A large group of people is called a 'no thanks'.
61. Does running out of wine count as cardio?
62. Not only is my memory horrible, so is my memory.
63. I don't have ducks or a row. I have squirrels and they're everywhere.
64. You know that little voice in your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn't? I should probably get one of those.
65. I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone when you called. I don't use it for that.
66. I see all those moms who can do everything and I think, 'I should have them do some stuff for me".
67. I have put a lot of thought into it and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me.
68. Today's forecast: tired with a chance of sarcasm.
69. I put the hot in psychotic.
70. There's a time and place for coffee. In my hand and now.
71. Id' love to stay and chat but I'm lying.
72. If it requires pants or a bra, it's not happening today.
73. Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
74. Some things are better left unsaid. Which I usually realize immediately after I've said them.
75. It's no longer called 'boxed wine'. The new term is 'cardboardeaux'.
76. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm at preschool or high school. Oh wait, I'm at work.
77. I'm still waiting for that fairy tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
78. That's a horrible idea. What time should I be there?
79. I walk around like everything is fine but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
80. If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being thin for the rest of your life, would you choose hard or soft tacos?
81. I'm not slurring. I'm speaking in cursive.
82. Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet - nobody really knows how.
83. No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
84. My brain said 'crunches' but my stomach autocorrected it to 'cupcakes'.
85. A perfect metaphor for my life would be 'someone trying to stand up in a hammock'.
86. Are we having some drinks or are we having some dranks? I need to dress accordingly.
87. I'm staying home today. I have mood poisoning.
88. I hate it when I see some old person and then realize we went to high school together.
89. A meal without wine is called breakfast.
90. People who say 'go big or go home' are seriously underestimating my willingness to go home.
91. I'm not a hot mess, I'm a spicy disaster.
92. Can you put vodka in a humidifier? Asking for a friend.
93. Every time you get dressed, remember: if you die that'll be your ghost outfit forever.
94. No matter how bad it gets, I'm always rich at the dollar store.
95. I can't decide which pants to put on today: smarty or fancy?
96. I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm some form of an exhausted pigeon.
97. Of course size matters. Nobody wants a small glass of wine.
98. I hate when I think I'm buying organic vegetables and I get home and they're just regular donuts.
99. I don't like morning people. Or mornings. Or people.
100. I never thought I'd be the type of person to get up early in the mornings and exercise. I was right.
Follow my Pinterest board where I keep all of my inspiration for fun sayings to letter. I'm always updating and adding to them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: